Squid Blue and the Six Sea Sponges (and One Starfish)
by SpongeyBubble
Summary: Evil King Plankton was the ruler of the Bikini Bottom Kingdom, asking his wife everyday who was the fairest in the land. But then one day, someone else, a certain octopus prince, takes the title of who is the most handsome. What will that particular prince do when Plankton wants to kill him? Find out in this aquatic fairy tale! (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs parody)


Once upon a time, there was a faraway land... and there once lived a king. He had a beautiful step-son named Squid Blue. The king, however, was afraid Squid's beauty would surpass his, and so he would ask his computer wife everyday, "who is the fairest of them all?". She would _always _reply that it was him, the king, who was the fairest of them all. Meanwhile, the wicked, evil king would put Squid Blue in rags and make him work for him. As long as the king's wife said that thee is the most beautiful, Squid Blue would be safe.

A very small being, no taller than a finger, approached his robotic computer wife. He had on king's attire.

"Computer wife Karen, on the wall," said the king, "who is the fairest of them all?"

"It's not you this time, _Plankton_," said Karen, "I see someone else who is fairer than thee..."

King Plankton looked _infuriated_. He yelled at her, "What? _WHAT?! _REVEAL HIS NAME!"

"Pupils as red as a brick, nose as big as a shell, skin blue as the sky-"

"JUST TELL ME WHO IT IS!," Plankton yelled, impatiently.

"_Squid Blue_," Karen said, frustrated at her husband.

"Squid Blue?!" exclaimed Plankton. "But how, _HOW?!_"

"That just seems to be the way it is," replied Karen.

Meanwhile, a tall, blue being, with six tentacles and rags as clothes, was washing the steps outside of the Chum Kingdom. He was mumbling and grumbling to himself about being a servant.

This just happened to be Squid Blue.

"I would rather be in the dungeon than washing these stupid steps!" he said.

He then spotted something in the bushes. It was the clarinet he had been hiding.

Squid had looked around before picking it up.

"Oh, Clairie," said Squid, "how I've been wanting to play you _all _day..."

He started to blow on it and play a tune on it. He saw a few scallops nearby a wishing well.

"Would you like to hear some _sophisticated _music?" he asked the scallops.

The scallops chirped in reply.

Squid Blue laughed, and started to play into the wishing well, making the rather horrible sounding notes echo.

Meanwhile, a plump crab had come his way through the fence. He had on prince attire, and he had looked quite rich as well.

He had noticed the octopus playing his clarinet near that wishing well and decided to come over.

Once Squid Blue had been done playing, he heard a hearty voice that sang,

"_**TODAY!**_"

Squid had been startled by this strange crab prince, and ran off into the castle.

"Wait, come back me boy, wait! I didn't mean to scare ye!" exclaimed the crab.

Then the crab, wanting to get the octopus prince's attention, began to sing;

_Now that I've found ye, here's what I have to say... _

Squid Blue had ran onto the balcony of the castle and watched him sing.

_One song, I have but one song, one song, only for ye... _

_One heart, tenderly beating, for yer money, constant and true... _

_One love, that has possessed me, one love, thrilling me through... _

_One song, me heart keeps singing, of one love, only for yer money... _

Plankton, meanwhile, had watched the crab sing to his step-son, and shut the certains.

"Ridiculous!" said Plankton, "It's not fair! Now my rival has come to him and _now... _UGH!"

The wicked king had called, "SANDY, _SANDY!_"

The squirrel named Sandy had come over.

"Y-Yes, your highness?"

"Sandy, my huntssquirrel, I need you to do me a favor..." said Plankton.

"What is thy favor, your majesty?" asked the squirrel.

"I need you to go see Squid Blue, the prince, assassinate him, and put his heart in _this _box," said the king, holding up a box, "so I can turn his heart into _chum_."

"Oh, boy," said Karen to herself.

"Whatever you say, your highness," said Sandy.

She took the box, and ran for wherever the prince was.

Meanwhile, Squid Blue had been humming, taking a shower, oblivious to the fact that he was about to get murdered.

Then the door shot open, revealing a squirrel with a knife in her hand, about to stab him.

Squid Blue, in response, had screamed for a few good five seconds, before calming down.

Sandy, after seeing his beautiful face, felt her hand shaking, letting go of the knife.

"I-I can't do it!" said Sandy, "Please forgive me, your highness, but he made me-"

"_He_? But _who?! _Why would anyone want to kill the _handsome _yet _miserable _Squid Blue-"

"The king!" the squirrel had exclaimed, shocking the octopus.

"W-Why?! Why would he-"

"GO! GET OUT AND GO, SQUID BLUE!" Sandy had exclaimed to him, startling him.

Squid had thrown on a brown dress with a cape, and made his way to freedom in the woods.

But this kelp forest seemed to be so scary for him, while running away, he fell into a hole and landed in the middle of a free space in the forest.

He began to cry, thinking this would be his last day, while many eyes were watching him.

Sandy, meanwhile, had killed a seahorse, and put its heart in the box.

'_That oughta trick him_' she thought, and made her way back into the castle.

King Plankton had been waiting for this moment, and when she finally arrived, he was pretty delighted.

"Yes... YES!" exclaimed Plankton, "Can you believe this, Karen? He's _ACTUALLY _dead!"

"I suppose that's nice..." said Karen, monotonously.

"Thanks to this, WE SHALL THROW A BALL!"

"Oh, brother..."

Squid Blue had been laying on the ground for the past hour, until he was awaken by a little sea bunny.

"What the..? Hey! Get out of my face!" exclaimed Squid.

The sea bunny ran off, and later more and more sea creatures made their way toward the prince.

There were snails, scallops, clams, worms, and jellyfish.

Scallops were chirping at the octopus.

"Would you- Agh, you don't know what I've been through," grumbled Squid Blue.

A few of the snails had began to push the prince somewhere.

"Hey! Where are you taking me?! Hey- stop! You're getting slime all over my dress-" Squid then realized what he was wearing,

"Why did I slip this on, why wasn't I thinking?!" said Squid Blue.

He then saw a cottage that was vaguely shaped like a pineapple, along with a rock next to it,

"Yes! Finally, food! Shelter! _All I needed!_" Squid happily exclaimed as he ran toward the cottage before looking at the inside.

"Ugh... looks like too much work," he grumbled, "ANIMALS! Do the work for me while _I _play my clarinet."

The critters looked annoyed but gave in to the prince's commands anyway.

"I call this tune, _Play Clarinet While You Work_!" said Squid Blue, then started to play the tune while the creatures did work for him in the cottage.

After everything was done, Squid Blue went upstairs to take a nap.

He looked at the names on seven rather small beds and laughed.

"O-Oh, get a load of this one- _Spongegrumpy?!_" he laughed.

"And ol' Patrick over here may have a normal name, _but not a bed!_" he laughed while pointing at a rock that the name _Patrick _imprinted on it.

"Oh... a prince like _me _should have a nap though," he yawned, set four beds together, and went to sleep.

Meanwhile, down at a restaurant, there were six sea sponges working a grill, a register, and cleaning whatever needed to be cleaned, along with a starfish, who was helping out.

They were singing to themselves while working. The starfish, meanwhile, had been cleaning the floors with a broom, but it was upside down, prompting one of the sponges to say, "Hey, buddy, just blow in from Stupidtown?"

The sea star frowned, and exclaimed, "WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!" and hit the broom against the floor multiple times, causing the place to get all dusty and even made a sponge sneeze multiple times.

One sponge was inspecting some of the krabby patties, prompting the starfish to come over and eat them all. Frustrated with the sea star, the sea sponge hit him on the head.

The clock was ticking, until finally there was an alarm that signaled them to go home.

The presumed leader of the sea sponges exclaimed, "_**IIIIII'M READY!**_"

The other sponges and starfish followed suit. A droopy looking sponge left the register, an angry looking one left the bathrooms, the starfish went the wrong way, and three other sponges left the kitchen, and bellowed a song saying "We're ready, we're ready, 'cause it's home from work we go," and blew a flute on their noses with the exception of the starfish.

They all marched home, with the starfish at the caboose, who was getting stung by multiple jellyfish as they were going through the Jellyfish Fields.

_A few hours later... _

Some of the animals in the cottage woke up to people singing and marching toward the house, causing them all to run away.

One of sponges took notice and shouted, "THE LIT'S LIGHT- _THE LIGHT'S LIT!_"

The others were confused.

"What do we do?!" exclaimed the starfish in a deep voice.

"We oughta go inside!" said one of the sponges.

"Then let's go," said the leader sponge, and signaled them to follow him.

The starfish ran through, prompting one of the sponges to grab him and say, "_Are you crazy?! _You're gonna get yourself hurt, Patrick!"

"Sorry, but I was just so hungry I had to run in-"

"_SHHH!_"

"Sorry."

They tip-toed into their room, and saw a figure in not one, two, three, but _four _beds!

The sponges aimed their spatulas and jellyfish nets before they saw the octopus's face.

"W-Why, i-i-it's an octopus!" said the sea sponge leader.

An angry looking sponge said, "Hmm, _take him out!_"

The others were about to shush him until Squid Blue woke up.

"H-Huh? AH! A SEA SPONGE!" shouted Squid Blue, noticing one of them.

Then the others proceeded to pop up, their noses sticking out one by one.

"Oh great, and there's _more _of them?" said Squid.

They stared at each other before the angry sponge said, "Well?"

Squid said, "Well what?"

"Aren't you gonna introduce yourself before you _leave?_"

"Why you little-" said Squid. "Wait, what are _your _names- WAIT! Let me guess... I know..."

He gestured toward all of them and said,

"Hmm, you must be dimwit, and _you _must be dimwit as well, _same with the rest of you!_" He said before laughing.

One of the sponges went, "Actually, um, sir, that is not our names-"

"I know, I was just _kidding_!" said Squid Blue, before gesturing to the leader with the glasses, "You must be Spongedoc..."

"Wow! He guessed my name right!" the particular sponge said.

Squid gestured to a more shy looking one. "This one looks like he would be named, um, Spongebashful!" he said before laughing, causing the sponge to blush.

Squid gestured toward a droopy looking sea sponge, "Your name is Spongesleepy!"

The sea sponge asked, "Wow, how'd you guess?" before yawning.

"And this one," Squid gestured to one about to sneeze, "is Spongesneezy?"

The sponge nodded before sneezing.

"And you," Squid said, gesturing to a joyful sponge, "you're-"

The sponge interrupted the squid saying, "Spongehappy! And this is our best friend-"

"Patrick Dopeystar!" Patrick the starfish said.

Squid Blue turned to the last one,

"You look like someone I would like, Spongegrumpy, right?"

The sponge glared at him before confirming it.

"Yeah, whatever..."

Spongegrumpy turned to Spongedoc and said, "Ask him who he is and what he is doing already!"

The sponge leader said, "Right! What are you and who are you doing- I mean who are you doing and- Who are you?"

"Squid Blue, " the octopus replied.

"_Squid Blue? The prince?_"

"Yeah, whatever, and, also, please, _please_, I'm begging you, _don't send me back to King Plankton-_"

"King Plankton?!" said Spongegrumpy, "That evil thing! I'm telling ya, don't _ever _trust that mean king! He practices witchcraft! He could be here right now!"

This prompts Patrick to look under the bed, making Squid slap him.

Patrick then noticed Squid's dress and said, "Hey Squid, nice dress!"

Squid Blue took notice of this and said, "It's a _nightshirt_!"

Spongehappy took a closer look and said, "Looks like a dress to me!"

"Shut your mouth, moron!" insulted Squid Blue.

"Well, we gotta get him outta here," said Spongegrumpy.

"_Fine_! Let me get killed and- wait. If you let me stay, let me do some chores for you, listen, I'll clean, and mow your lawn, and cook-"

"_**Cook?!**_" The sponges and sea star exclaimed happily, "Hooray, he stays!"

"Yeah, _whatever_," said Squid.

Squid Blue then heard his soup, which he had begun to make earlier, burning a bit. He ran straight downstairs to check on his brew.

The group of seven peeked over the balcony. Squid had took notice.

"Hey, before you all get your... _grubby _little hands on _my _soup, why don't you all do yourselves a favor and go wash," said Squid Blue, "and before you go on lying to me, let me see your hands."

The group looked reluctant to show the octopus, but did as he said, and much to Squid's dismay, their hands _were _dirty.

Squid Blue sent them off to the tub for them to wash. Spongegrumpy was notably very stubborn about this, and later when Squid came to check where he was at, Spongegrumpy was found laying in the tub, having sopped up all of the water.

Meanwhile, Plankton had been proud of the "heart of Squid Blue" and kept on showing his computer wife his now prized possession. Karen had grew frustrated with the every ten minutes the evil king showed the heart, and eventually yelled at him, "_PLANKTON! _You're not even holding the heart of Squid Blue, he's at the cottage of the six sponges and one starfish, and the 'heart' you're holding is the heart of a _seahorse_!"

King Plankton had took a closer look, and it turns out she was right, as she always speaks the truth.

"That fool!" said Plankton, "I'll just go ahead and kill that prince myself!"

He marched straight down to his laboratory and began to prepare a spell.

He then mixed up all the sorts to make himself into an old fish. The spell had worked successfully! He then prepared a brew to use in the "consumable" he would make for Squid Blue.

"Ok, some of my _delicious _chum to create this! This will be _perfect!_" Plankton exclaimed as he cackled. He had put the chum in the brew he made to create the perfect poisoned krabby patty.

"Yes, yes, YES!" the single-celled king cried out as he fixed the "burger".

"But wait!" he realized, "There must be some kind of antidote."

He turned the pages in his spellbook.

"A hiring at a restaurant?! Pheh!" he exclaimed in denial, "Those sponges will _bury _him and think he's dead! Of course that won't work!"

He laughed evilly as he had set the "krabby patty" in his basket as he rowed his boat for the cottage.

Meanwhile, Squid Blue and his seven "friends" were dancing and partying with some jellyfish.

The sponges were all singing and playing instruments to entertain the octopus prince, who didn't look as entertained as they expected.

Some were playing their nose flutes, some had their own instruments, and Squid had his clarinet. Squid Blue then began to play along with them.

Meanwhile, Patrick and Spongesneezy were preparing to dance with the prince while stacked on top of each other and wearing a trenchcoat.

Squid Blue, now impressed, began to dance with them and the other sponges.

It ended when the sick sponge sneezed, causing Patrick to fall out.

Squid chuckled, "That was actually pretty fun, I must say. Now, who's up for a _wonderful_-"

"Story!" exclaimed Spongesleepy.

"Can you play mayonnaise as an instrument?" asked Patrick, "Or horseradish?"

"No, Patrick, those are _not _instruments," said Squid Blue, "but I _will _tell a story in the form of a song!"

The sponges and starfish gathered around.

"Ahem," coughed Squid. "There was once a _beautiful _prince."

"Was the prince you?" asked Spongedoc.

"And he fell in love,"

"Was it hard to do?" asked Spongesneezy.

"Well, it was very easy. Anyone could see that this guy was, I don't know, old? Probably the only one for _me_."

"Was he strong and handsome?" asked Spongedoc.

"Was he big and tall?" asked Spongesneezy.

Squid Blue grew a bit frustrated.

"_There's nobody like him. Anywhere at all-_"

"Did he say he loved ya?" asked Spongebashful.

"Did he steal a kiss?" asked Spongehappy.

Squid Blue said, "Alright! That's enough interrupting! Now let me continue in song as this random clarinet plays in the back-"

"Sorry, Squid," apologized Patrick, interrupting.

The prince sighed.

_He was so greedy... I could not resist... _

_Someday my prince will come... Someday we'll unfortunately meet again... And away to his castle we go... To be miserable forever I know... _

_Someday when spring is here... We'll find our work anew... And the clams will sing and the late clock will ring... Someday when if my dreams don't come true... _

The alarm rang out loud in the cottage.

"Well, looks like it's time for bed, goodnight," said Squid Blue, "just go ahead over to your rooms and-"

"Wait!" exclaimed Spongedoc. "We'll sleep downstairs tonight. You sleep in _our _rooms."

"Oh really?" said Squid, "How kind of you little dimwits. Well, _goodnight_!"

"Goodnight, Squid Blue."

_The next day... _

The sponges and starfish were preparing to go to work, with Squid bidding them goodbye. They all said their warnings to the prince.

The sponges wanted a kiss on the forehead from the prince, who responded, "No."

Patrick, stubborn, wanted one, and was pleading for one.

"Oh, _fine_!" Squid said, giving in, "But this is it!"

He gave a kiss and shoved the sea star along.

Spongegrumpy went up to the octopus and said, "Now, I'm warning you, don't let _anyone _into our house, you hear?"

"Yes, yes, whatever," replied the prince, and moved the grumpy sponge along.

After a while, Squid was playing his clarinet while making some rather burnt krabby patties. He then turned to see a disgusting, old fish.

"Ah, you play just wonderfully," said the "fish", "an octopus like you should get paid for that music."

Plankton meant this sarcastically.

Squid replied, "Oh, why thank you, sir."

Meanwhile, there were little critters like clams, seahorses, snails, and sea bunnies squeaking and chirping about something, and proceeded to go for the "fish", who was really the evil king.

"Hey, shoo! Shoo!" scolded the prince, "Shame on you all!"

He turned to the fish.

"You okay, sir?" he asked him, gently.

"Oh! My heart! My dear old heart! Water! I need water!" exclaimed Plankton.

"Ok, it's ok, just come inside!" said Squid Blue. He led the "fish" in.

"Oh, thank you, dear," said Plankton, "as a reward I have a krabby patty, a delicious krabby patty!"

"That sure does look good, sir."

Meanwhile, the animals were rushing to the sponges' workplace.

They were all pulling on the sponges to warn them, but they did not know what was going on.

Spongesleepy said, "Maybe the king's got Squid Blue..."

"Oh no!" cried Patrick.

"What do we do?!" exclaimed Spongedoc.

"We need to go after him!" declared Spongegrumpy.

They went on their own seahorses, and raced toward the cottage.

Meanwhile, Plankton in his disguise, was bribing the prince to take a bite.

"Now," said the "fish", "here's a secret between you and me. This is no ordinary krabby patty, it's a magic wishing patty! It will make all of your dreams come true! It can bring you fame!"

"Fame?"

"Fortune!"

"Fortune?"

"Anything your heart desires!"

"Anything?"

Squid sighed dreamily at the thought of having a full head of hair.

"Well," said the prince, "what _I _wish for... is to at least have a decent job if I don't become famous. But if I _am _famous, I want to play clarinet in front of the finest judges, and they will cheer for me... and I also want hair..."

"Yes! There you go!" exclaimed Plankton, "Now take a bite! Don't let your wish grow cold!"

"Alright..." said Squid.

He took the bite.

"Oh..." moaned Squid Blue, "I f-feel... _strange_-"

The once conscious octopus prince fell to the ground.

The "fish" laughed and cackled evilly.

"NOW _I'M _THE FAIREST IN THE LAND!" Plankton exclaimed.

Plankton walked out, before getting interrupted by some upcoming seahorses chasing toward him.

"There he is! After him!" led Spongegrumpy.

They all chased him up a cliff, but the sponges, having no driving experience, crashed with their seahorses.

Patrick said, "Woah, we're on Mount Climb-up-and-fall-off, like at-"

"_Patrick!_"

"Sorry!"

Plankton was trying to push a rock for it to fall on the sponges and starfish, but this had failed as he was struck by lightning. He fell straight to the ground.

The group looked down on him before leaving.

_A few moments later... _

The group was mourning the "death" of Prince Squid Blue of Bikini Bottom. Spongegrumpy was _sobbing _at the funeral, regretting how he treated Squid Blue at times.

_A few months later... _

Spring had come, yet this was just another day for the group to mourn the prince. The crab prince, Mr. Krabs, however, had searched far and wide for Squid Blue, but it happened to be too late. He sang as he went toward the octopus's casket.

He took a good look at the octopus.

"Aye, if he were still here, I would hire the lad," he said sadly. He sniffed at him.

"He sure has a lot of money," said the crab, rather disrespectfully. "he would've made a fine cashier!"

Then, miraculously, the octopus began to wake up!

"Ugh, what happened?" asked Squid Blue, groggily.

"Squid Blue, you're hired!" exclaimed Mr. Krabs, happily.

"W-What?" asked Squid, confused.

"Oh yeah, Squid!" said Spongedoc_, _"Mr. Krabs is _our _boss too!"

All of the sponges (and starfish) then exclaimed happily, "That means you'll work with us... _**FOREVER!**_"

Those words echoed in Squid Blue's "ears". The prince screamed.

"AHHH! GET ME ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE 'WISHING PATTIES'!" he cried as he ran away from the casket.

"Should we tell him that the evil king is gone?" asked Patrick.

"Nah, he'll warm up to us eventually," replied Mr. Krabs, "he will, lad."

And then they all lived happily ever after...

_The End _


End file.
